Loving and Longing

Coffee with Cream and Sugar
An Invitation into the Sweet Oneness of God
#10-Loving and Longing 

JOSEPH JACKSON (BLACK LIKE COFFEE) 

 I received a text this morning (Friday, October 9) from Heather Lee with a photo of a beautiful sunrise that painted the sky with brilliant colors of autumn.  I do believe I’ve shared before that fall is my favorite season–a season I long for every year at the end of what has usually been a long, hot summer. The picture I received (see it above) brought the first taste of autumn or me this year—the colors, the cool air, the smells, and the outright beauty of the season—and my response to Heather was, loving and longing. She invited me to go deeper.  So, I did.  

I went first to an exploration of the word, longing and found a number of definitions including–a strong and intense desire or yearning for something, someone, or someplace that is absent or unattainable and often accompanied by feelings of nostalgia and emotional pain. I also was thinking of longing in terms of my own thirsting and hungering for God, sometimes expressed as God hunger.  The psalmist expresses it in Psalm 42:1. As the deer thirsts for the bubbling brook, so my soul thirsts for You O God, the living God. The Spirit also brought to mind a 1960’s black and white tv show that I used to watch with my mother called The Fugitive. It was made into a movie in 1993. In the story, intense longing is portrayed in both Deputy Gerard’s pursuit of the fugitive Dr. Richard Kimble and in Dr. Kimbel’s hot pursuit of the one-armed man, who holds the truth to his freedom. What arises in you when you reflect on the word longing? 

 What I recognized most that I wanted to write and share about was a longing for, not only particular seasons, but for places.  There is a place, a place I long to visit every year, and it turned out that I was visiting this place at the same time I received the picture of the fall sunrise. It is not a place that I can get to easily, but I think that contributes to my love and longing for it.  I go there as often as I can, whether a five-day retreat or a day visit when I’m in the state of Kentucky or passing through on my way to Nashville or Atlanta. I love and long for the Abbey of Gethsemani.  For the official founding and history of the Abbey of Gethsemani, just use Google (or my link), but here’s my description of the place and space I long for:  

The Abbey of Gethsemani is over two thousand acres of diverse landscapes and beautiful panoramic views.  It is a blend and balance of hills, knobs, lakes, streams, plains, prairies, paths, and trails. On two hills specifically, the St. Joseph Statue and Calvary Cross, just across the road from the monastery buildings, one can get a panoramic view of all that I mentioned. Then there are lakes along the many trails that mirror the seasons, like Heather’s picture. Dispersed along the trails are religious figurines you can stop, pause, pray, muse, or simply catch your breath at. Further into the woods are the large statues of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane while the disciples are in another spot sleeping. Thomas Merton’s (Father Louis’s) hermitage, his gravesite, and the gravesites of the lesser-known monks are also nestled on the grounds, inviting my curiosity and reflection. Finally, there’s the Divine Office, also known as Opus Dei, “The Work of God.” Seven times a day, from 3:15am to 7:30pm. the monks gather to chant the psalms in beautiful tones from the choir stalls, all 150 within two weeks. Each day, after the last Divine Office, the Great or Grand Silence sets in for the night. The next morning, the rhythm of the day begins anew.  

 I love it here. I long for it–maybe even like Nat King Cole longs for his love as he sings one of my favorite songs of longing, The Autumn Leaves. 

 I know that picture I received from Heather Lee was taken at a place, The Lake, that is dear to her soul.  I receive hints that she longs for that place throughout the year, maybe in ways that I long for The Abbey of Gethsemani.  Maybe she will tell you about it.  

 HEATHER LEE (WHITE LIKE CREAM) 

Bring all the Pieces (Heather Lee)
Bring all the pieces
the soil…and the seeds
Bring the piles and piles
of fallen leaves
the secrets
from your season away.

Bring all the pieces
to the lake.
It waits for you
calling out
through the voice of loons
and the quiet ripples of water
tickling the shoreline
in the dark.
It celebrates in its depths
your return
eager to gather you in
to fill its longing with you
your whole
in whatever pieces
right where you are
now.

Bring all the pieces
sit at its banks
enter the exhilarating embrace
and aliveness
that envelopes your heat.
Be loved
and welcomed home. 

My longing for the lake and its longing for me is reflected in this poem that I wrote over 10 years ago. I have been returning, season after season, to The Lake, like Joe returns to the Abbey of Gethsemani. I have a relationship with the lake. The lake knows me, loves me, longs for me; and I love and long for the lake. I bring my whole being, in whatever pieces, back to it, time and time again, season after season. It holds the joys and sorrows, the soil and the seeds and the piles and piles of fallen leaves of my 56 years of life.  

The sacred space on its shores was a small vacant lot to explore and enjoy when I was a child. Now there is a humble home, built by my grandfather’s hands and nourished by my grandmother’s heart, sustained by my parent’s tending and our family’s love and laughter and longing. It has welcomed and loved me, and an ever-growing circle of family and friends (Joe Jackson has been there!), season after season. We just closed it up for the winter (again), and as I sat at the shore at sunrise giving thanks and saying my goodbyes, I snapped that photo and sent it to Joe. I knew he was being loved by the sacred spaces at Gethsemani.  

 I love it here. I long for it. And like Joe, I will share I song that I wrote that captures summer at the lake through the longing call of The Loons. 

SUGAR (THE SWEET ONENESS OF GOD)
The sweet oneness is short and sweet today, indeed. The sugar is the shared blessing of loving and longing in relationship with specific places and the knowing that we humans are not separate from creation but part of it–part of its rhythms, its seasons, its poetry, its song. The monk’s chants and the loon’s calls throughout the day both express this loving and longing for God in it all and God’s loving and longing for us in all. 

Take a moment to bring to mind a place that you long for and that you love. Feel it longing for and loving you in return. Share what is arising in you about loving and longing today.